Christians aren’t intended to live alone. At the same time the gospel was first proclaimed, the Church was formed. Today, many people who call themselves Christian struggle with the Church. I have two explanations for this: 1) Someone (or a group of someones) saying they are Christian doesn’t make it true. So, there are many counterfeit churches in the world. I don’t think it is that difficult to spot them–they don’t teach or practice Jesus. But many are turned off of “the Church” because of their experience with such groups. 2) There seems to be an expectation that churches won’t contain sinners–and won’t do anything wrong. We who are subjects of the King are not the King. We aren’t necessarily even better than anyone else–just forgiven. It is sad that some would miss the reality that the Church is only open to sinners, or think somehow they don’t fit because of that description.
That said, it is important to those of us who are trying to be healthy spiritually to have relationships with others who are also following Jesus.
Some try to develop these relationships without the church. Others try to be part of numerous “churches” (congregations) at one time. In 43 years of ministry, I have never seen this work. What usually happens is those people become “consumers” rather than part of a body of believers. They take advantage of ministries offered by different congregations, but they don’t contribute much themselves–and they don’t get to know people well enough for the kind of relationship we’re talking about to develop.And that means the Church.
All Christians should have relationships with people who don’t know the Lord, with people who aren’t interested in the Lord, and with people who are simply less spiritually mature. But to be strong and healthy we also need people at or above our level of spiritual maturity. People who can fulfill Paul’s command to “bear one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6:2). People we can be totally open with about our struggles, our doubts and pains–as well as stand with them as they struggle. People we can call and talk to, or pray with. People who are not only available to us, but whom we actually connect with. Without these people, we are isolated, and we are weaker.
In most congregations, this relationship building happens in two primary ways: 1) small groups–time spent with people on a regular basis where they enjoy each others’ company, pray with and for each other, and study the Word together. Ideally this is a weekly gathering of 5-12 people, and for most it takes a year to develop the trust in these relationships to be truly effective. 2) serving together in smaller groups of people, where they are not only able to serve, but to get to know the people they are serving with–to trust, value and enjoy those brothers and sisters in Christ. Both of these require an investment of time–but without it, we cannot be healthy.
To assess the relationships in your life, ask yourself two questions: 1) “Who fits this description in my life?” (HINT: use specific names–if you can’t name them, you don’t have them); and 2) “Do I actually take advantage of these people in my life?” (It is one thing to be able to call on someone, it is another to actually call on them!). If I have at least three to four such people I can rate myself a 5 on a 1-10 scale. If I actually use these people regularly (there is no set amount of time), I can increase that rating.
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