Like many of you, I have read many posts, blogs, editorials and just plain remarks the last two days regarding the death of Robin Williams. I find I am tiring of them. Ironically, here is yet another. I am a bit bemused by the fact that many of the aforementioned posts, etc. begin with someone telling us that, in essence, s/he is an expert (minister, counselor, etc.) so we should listen to them. But, since it seems to be the accepted format, let me state my qualifications:
1. I am a Christian minister (one of those Bible teaching ones–though my left wing friends think I’m a conservative and my right wing friends think I’m a liberal).
2. I am a trained counselor. I have been licensed and certified, I taught counseling in two graduate programs and I supervised appx. 50 counselors to their degree and/or license.
3. Over the last 40 years I have worked in suicide intervention and prevention as an author, teacher, minister, counselor and police chaplain.
4. I once attempted suicide—the attempt ultimately leading me to Christ.
Having laid those facts before everyone, I simply want to make a few brief observations:
I am reading many posts beginning with statements such as “Robin Williams wasn’t a victim, he was selfish” or “Robin Williams wasn’t selfish, he was sick.” Of course these are based on the fact that he is reported to have suffered depression, and addiction and ultimately that he took his own life. Please note the word “reported”—very few of us actually know any of these things. That, however, isn’t my observation. I’ll put it here as more of a question: “Where did we get the idea that a person can’t be sick and selfish?” Very few suffering from what has been broadly called “mental illness” (some of which probably is just that, and some of which certainly isn’t) lose the ability to be selfish or caring. We still make choices, which brings me to my next observation.
Anyone who thinks she knows what she would have done in the same circumstances is wrong. We don’t. Which of course leads to another observation:
Robin Williams is dead. None of our commentary will help him now. So I have to agree with many of those (ironically including people taking both the “selfish” and the “sick” views above) that our priority now needs to be on those who need our help—whether counseling, teaching, or just plain friendship and encouragement. People who are thinking of killing themselves don’t wear signs on their foreheads. They may or may not be depressed. We have to pay attention to one another. But people who are hurting often reach out to someone, and anyone who cares can reach out to them and say “I care”. Oddly enough, the willingness to do that and just be with that person in all the awkwardness it can involve is amazingly helpful to most.
There is one more observation that is pretty important. None of us, whether atheist, Christian (left, right, middle, etc.) or person of any other description knows what Robin Williams is experiencing right now. I hope he does “Rest In Peace”, but if he died without Christ I don’t believe he will. The thing is, none of us knows whether he did or not. So, while I absolutely hold to the reality of final judgment, perhaps we should back off attempting to predict, or worse yet pronounce, that judgment.
If someone is grieved at the loss of this man, good. It is appropriate. Not because he was famous or funny or “great”, but because he was a person who has died. But in that grief, and perhaps in order to work through that grief, turn to those who are still here and love them.
Thanks for your attention to one more post.
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